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  • Anna

The Surrender Story...

Updated: May 25, 2023

Bear with me, I want to tell you something about surrender…

Oh, I know how that sounds, but I’m not trying to be a drama queen. It’s just that I’ve been told by various sources that I need to stop trying to fix everything! That I need to surrender to what’s going on because I’m not solely responsible for the wellbeing of all the things, people, and animals around me. Apparently, if I accept what’s happening, then like a miracle, everything will be well. Really? Okay, I decided to give it a go.

Since last we met, hormones and histrionics escalated in the pigpen as Maxi and Minnie had another hormonally fuelled fight and Minnie, as usual, came off worst. This time with a bite through the right ear leaving a weeping gash which, in an unseasonably hot April, provided a magnet for flies.

I surrendered to the fact my shoulders were permanently raised up past my ears as tension took over, while I endeavoured to tend to this splendid beast. Her ensuing fever required a visit from the vet. Anti-inflammatories made a difference, though my attempts to entice her into eating food laced with antibiotics failed miserably. Could I heal her by sheer force of will? Could I call upon the invisible powers of the Universe to heal her - I tried! I tried everything. No surrendering going on here.

In reality Minnie was in torment with her ear aching, oozing and luring the flies who laid their eggs, quickly causing the maggots to consume parts of her earlobe. The only good thing about them is how they keep a wound clean and, with the medication I sprayed on, they dwindled and died, leaving me free to work on healing this unsightly mess.

Bear with me, as I admit that the healing process feels as though it’s taken forever. At night I fell into bed exhausted but encouraged that the offending ear looked less like a hamburger. Each morning I jumped out of bed on full alert, gripping life by the fingertips and bracing myself against the forthcoming day. I would disappear to the pig pen only to find Minnie’s ear was raw, bleeding and tattered, so I surrendered to starting again.

Today the NEARLY healed torn ear.

Naturally, the entire episode was making Minnie unhappy, nervous and out of sorts. So, I would like to describe the relief I felt when we reached a plateau and things began to settle. Today she is fully on the mend and, following a course of Bach Flower Remedies for both her and Maxi-mum, the atmosphere in the pigpen is one of calm tranquillity once more. We are all enjoying the fast-growing babies, as they roar around the paddock behind their mothers, enjoying life just as it is, indulging in whatever new adventure each day brings. Totally ignorant of any parental disgruntlement.

And please bear with me as tell you what I have learned to surrender to, is the fact that Maxi and Minnie are pigs and having hormonal fights are to be expected. It isn’t personal. It was two strong pigs with huge amounts of baby hormones flooding through their veins and now it’s over. Now they are lounging in the pig pond together, whilst their babies play beside them. They are wandering through the paddock together, long grass waving and dappled sunlight making it look as though they are enjoying the savannah.

Finally, my shoulders have subsided to a place more akin to their usual position, with neck and head no longer throbbing from the trauma that has been our life for the last four weeks. I am pleased to describe a sense of calm and ease beginning to flow once again through life. The return of daily appreciation of all that is around me instead of fretting and frowning, worrying and snapping at people.

I have learned to surrender to not fighting with reality - after all, you never win! But it doesn't mean you stop trying when there are things you can do, such as healing a dodgy ear.

Today, as I sit and write these words so glad to share this experience with you, I’m thrilled to describe this new and bucolic scene where everyone is once more partaking of the daily delights found in ordinary Alentejo life.

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Congratulations on lessons learned and pigs healing. It was so helpful to read the specifics that you surrendered to - that brought the idea of surrender from a lofty concept down to earth and gave me some new ways of thinking of my own areas where I could surrender.

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